Poor Leadership
Poor leaders have a greater effect on their team than great leaders, an unfortunate occurence. I have a rather large ego but not large enough than I cannot admit to making mistakes or admit that I don’t get it right all of the time or admit that my actions can have a huge influence on members of the immediate team under my leadership. Mistakes are fine as long as you learn from them and do not continually make the same mistake. Additionally, do your utmost to limit the fallout. No-one gets it right all of the time and again, you must learn when you get it wrong. With those who have been wronged my my/your mistakes it is harder to repair but all I can recommend is that you try your hardest.
Continuing with a angling theme, a fisherman will look at the gear he is using should the “one that got away” become the two, three and four that got away. The best barometer that a budding leader can use or even more so, an experienced leader can use to measure their performance is the members of the team. If you see that you are losing them and they are “getting away”, it is time for some serious self assessment. Ask yourself some serious questions. For mine, the first five questions you need to ask yourself are,
Are you coming across to your the team as a “know it all”?
Are you sending the team mixed messages?
Are you having trouble making decisions?
Are you avoiding the “elephant in the room”?
Are you having trouble recognising that there is an “elephant in the room”?
I recommend these five questions as I have been required to ask them to myself on many occassions. It is also a good idea to ask yourself these questions and more, even if everything in the team appears to be going along swimmingly.
Are you coming across to your the team as a “know it all”.
When projects are not being completed as you expected, when small jobs all of a sudden seem like they are major projects and when an eight hour days become never ending blur of one day running into another as the “boss” you will be determined to fix all the problems on the job and while you are at, fix world hunger. All the problems are caused by someone else, you actually verbally start blaming others in front of your team as well as knowing all the reasons other managers are “no good”. If only you could hear yourself and instead of patting yourself on the back you would stop pumping up your own tyres and start sharing the air.
Stop it! Look around and see the ripples of discontent it is causing. Fix it.
As a team leader you need to return to what you were doing when matters were going right, when goals were being met and when the balance in the team, including you, was on an even keel. Place the trust you had in the team back in the teams hands. If others outside the immediate team seem to be interfering, have a quiet word to them, tell them your team “has it”. Do what you have receomended to others when you talk about efficiency, don’t try and fix any problems from the Board Room or you office. Get to where the problem is, discuss the problem with all involved and find a solution together. Sure, you will probably make the final decision but make sure you share the decision making process. Remember, you do not know it all.
Tip
As a Leader you must try not to “revert to type”. This is a point I need to remind myself of ALL OF THE TIME. Time marches on and what was a suitable leadership style 30 years ago is not as suitable today.
When I was a youngster, learning the ropes and enjoying my football more than I cared about a career, coaches were of the “fire and brimstone” type. A common feature for them was that when the game was not going as expected, their voice would be louder. the expressions more animated and they would call out the best player and place the blame for the poor performance on this best player. The hope was that if other players saw and heard that the best player was being called out that they would take it upon themselves to improve their performance and that the entire team would lift. A further hope was that the entire team became Leaders in that moment. And the poor old best player who was getting the bake? Well, as the best player it was hoped that he understood what this coaches ruse was all about and accepted the bake without question for the good of the team, most of the time they did. But, even the best would become disillusioned if this ruse was used too often.
And this is my biggest fault as a leader. I revert to type, more subconciously than for any other reason but a thoughtless action. What worked on the sporting field 40 years ago does not even work on the sporting field today. It will not work in the workplace today, people are bought up differently and rightly so, do not accept abuse, feigned ot not. You will lose “the best player” forever and break up your team.
Try to stay in the day. Remind yourself constantly, especially when under pressure.
Take a deep breath, count to ten and relax.
Mr. Ron Barassi and your author. Ron was an original “fire & brimstone” leader. He is an AFL Legend as a player and coach.
Are you having trouble making decisions?
If you are having trouble making decisions and this is a new feeling for you, please go and see a medical professional and make sure you are not suffering from anxiety or depression. That MUST be the first step you take.
The second the step you should take is ask yourself if you are suffering from “burnout”. If you feel like you need a break, take a break. By taking a break and returning to your role refreshed and bouncing with enthusiasm you will benefit yourself, the team you are leading and the organisation you are a part of as a whole.
If you are just having mental blocks, a lack of confidence that you are making good decisions or have recently had you fingers burnt, read on.
Limit you choices. While there are few decisons where the choices are black and white, try and limit the amount of greyness in the decision making process. Write down what you want to achieve and the position where you find yourself now. The action that contains the least amount of steps will many times be the best and is a good starting point in making your decision. Ask your team what they think, they will appreciate being involved. If the decison is still no closer to being made, ask a previous boss, work mate or just a mate. Don’t procrastinate further. Plan and adjust as you go.
Are you avoiding “the elephant in the room”?
The expression “the elephant in the room” is a common idiom for an important issue that no-one wants to discuss because it will cause controversy and make people feel uncomfortable, cause embarassment, can inflame an already delicate issue and maybe dangerous to you or someone elses future within an organisation.
You know you are avoiding the “elephant” when decisons you normally make without thought are not made, in situations where you would normally voice your opinion sees you mute or a normal basic solution remains untried.
How do you address uncomfortable truth? The truth is the longer you do not acknowledge the “elephant” the larger the elephant grows.
Let’s start with the positive, you have identified the elephant and that’s the first step. Now is the time to think carefully, not make rash decisions as you can become a great leader by addrssing the fear that many have.
You need to confirm that you are not the only person who sees the elephant, seek out a close ally and ask if they see the elephant. If they do, I would seek out others as well, find out what the consensus is, how many people see the elephant. Elephant hunting needs to be done with backup and as an another old saying goes, there is safety in numbers.
Next, if you are the person who is going to lead the elephant hunt, be prepared. Have a plan and start with a short 2 point plan. What are you going to say and when are you going to say it. The when will indicate the where. Elephant hunting calls for a clear head, as best you can, take any emotions out of it. Clear and concise delivery is key. Like everything we do, preparation is the key. You need to be prepared.
Follow up with being direct, speak frankly and don’t allow yourself to be goaded into becoming emotional. Even if this is a pre meeting before approaching the elephant directly, the elephant will have supporters in the room. You need to be convincing in your presentation and convert others to support you. No point walking on egg shells if you have come this far.
Call for others to share their feelings on the matter and continue to gain support. Maintain your focus and remain unemotional even when you feel the meeting has met a bottleneck or come up against a road block. Getting to where you planned before the meeting must be met and you will need this support. When you believe you have sufficient support to take the next step. Conclude this meeting by getting a majority to agree that they fully understand the issue and as a group are prepared to at least support you but if you can get some to commit to taking the next step together.
Be prepared to be met in the near future by a stampeding elephant. Rest assured the elephant will still have supporters be it concerning a poor idea or a person. If it is a person you can bet your last dollar that they will know about your meeting quickly and that they will have been told about in not so glowing terms. Your preparation will again come to your rescue here.
Load up on elephant shot and with the support you have gained repeat the above steps with the elephant about their imposition on the group as a whole or how their decisions a having a negative impact on operations.
Are you having trouble recognising that there is an “elephant in the room”?
Let me be brutally honest here. If you cannot recognise the elephant in the room it is because of one of two reasons.
The first reason is that you are not cut out for the leadership caper.
The second reason and the most likely reason that you cannot recognise the elephant in the room is that you are the elephant.
It is my experience that most elephants are malignant narcissists and yes, I do make that diagnosis as a person untrained to do so. However, if you have ever had the displeasure to have a malignant narcissist in your life, you will know the symptons and diagnosis yourself.
I can’t teach you this and unfortunately it only having one these unfortunate, menacing, horrid and self absorbed people in your life once that you can recognise another. This little verse named “The Narcissists Prayer” may help you.
The Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
(by Dayna Craig)